


Delay

by AbsolutelyIris



Series: The Long Way Home [5]
Category: Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Introspection, Language, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Male Character, Veronica Mars Holiday Gift Exchange 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 00:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3098108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsolutelyIris/pseuds/AbsolutelyIris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan had felt silly for years, for daydreaming about things he knew were probably never going to become true for him. </p><p>*</p><p>Logan reflects on his first Christmas with Veronica after a ten year separation, as well as how his life has changed with her absence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [petpluto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/petpluto/gifts).



> While the rating is "Teen and Up," there are implications of sex so this is your warning. Also, this joint is non-linear, so read accordingly. 
> 
> This is a gift for petpluto, who wanted introspection using the prompt of "Logan prepares for his and Veronica’s first Christmas together after a decade apart"

The terminal clerk looks as aggravated as Logan feels and he presses his fingers against his palm to stop himself from tapping on the counter as she continues to type. At nine o'clock was a screaming baby and the mother ignoring her, at three o'clock, two preteens arguing loudly about some game and the father ignoring them. The departure lounge was packed with stranded travelers looking to get to California for what was left of their Christmas vacation.

Logan and Veronica? They were just looking to get home.

“Sir, we're aiming for a 2am takeoff right now. We apologize for the delay-”

“ _Three-hour_ delay on my last count,” he pauses, pressing his lips together as he attempts to regain his composure. “Sorry. Thank you for checking. You can't control the weather,” he smiles tightly, turning to walk back to his seat. “Or my girlfriend's silent judgment.”

Speaking of the girlfriend...

Veronica's bundled up in a tiny ball, knees to her chest and _not_ in the seats where he left her but on the floor, under the windows and barricaded by their luggage. She's put her black parka back on and tugged her red beanie over her eyes, burrowing her chin and mouth into her red scarf. Her boots were crossed at the ankles and she's effectively a well-dressed pretzel.

He glances at their seats, now occupied by a very pregnant woman and her sleeping toddler, before plopping down on the ground beside Veronica. She doesn't move and he leans over, kissing the tiny spot of open skin in her human cocoon.

“What's the good word?” she mumbles, pushing her hat off her eyes.

“Still delayed, we're looking at takeoff at 2am right now. I'm ready to rent a car,” he adjusts himself as she tilts over, resting herself against his chest. “I could fly the plane, this is really balls.”

She looks up at him, her nose crinkling. “ _Balls_?”

“I heard that kid over there say it. Is that the new word now? What's wrong with bullshit?”

“Congratulations, lieutenant, you're officially old,” she sighs, her arm stretching up and wrapping around his neck. “We're totally not making it home for dinner and presents with dad. You know that.”

Logan's head bows and he nods. The fight from earlier was about to swing around again, it was too much to hope that she had gotten over it, he guessed. He'll take one for the team for the sake of unity. “I _said_ I was sorry.”

“We could've just gone home after Aspen,” she droned, her voice low as to not bring attention to them. “But _noooo_ , you wanted to go to New York to see a big tree. _Don't worry_ , you said. _We'll be back Christmas afternoon_ , you said.”

He sighs loudly, feeling his patience wearing thin. “Veronica. I get it. I'm sor-”

“Easy,” her fingers curl into the back of his neck, pulling him down for a quick kiss. “I'm teasing you. I loved the surprise trip and the big tree and the skating and the huge hotel room and the one night of room service and massages and champagne,” she leans back against his chest, entwining his fingers with hers. “I already called dad. He said you owe him an extra present for taking me away on Christmas.”

“Hooker it is,” he smiles at her breathless laugh before pressing his lips against the top of her head. They sit in silence and he listens to the bustling around them, grumbles and tears and laughter. A bunch of teenagers on their phones, a snow bunny cool mom engaging in some unnecessary PDA with her older partner, a soldier in uniform whom he gives a nod. From the looks of the area, the plane is going to be packed. Why was everyone flying on Christmas, anyway? 

Logan glances at his watch before he could get too grumpy, stifling a sigh. 9:13pm. It was going to be a long night.

He looks down at Veronica, who hasn't stirred from her position in his arms. “Hey, are you asleep?” he murmurs, nudging her with his nose. She burrowed closer against his chest and he huffed impatiently. The last thing he needs is Veronica going to sleep and leaving him in his own thoughts. “ _Veronica_.”

* * *

“ _Veronica_.”

“One second!”

Logan sighed loudly in the dark hallway in front of their bedroom, multi-color lights flickering at the corner of his eye from the tree in the living room. Veronica had run into their bedroom five minutes before midnight and had been locked in there for the last fifteen like they didn't have an early plane to catch in the morning. He could hear her moving around and then, music. 

There was the click of the door being unlocked and he sighed, pushing off the wall. “ _Finally_ ,” he muttered, moving into the bedroom and stopping almost immediately.

Veronica tipped Logan's sailor hat- which currently sat on her head- in his direction, continuing to sing softly. She spun on her toes, adjusting the Christmas lights decorating their headboard. Lights were also over the dresser and windows, giving the room a multi-color glow.

She was singing _All I Want For Christmas is You_ barefoot. Wearing his handy dandy regulation Navy hat. And white barely-there and sheer underwear.

“ _This_ is romantic,” he managed, drinking in the image of Veronica there. “We have to be up in four hours, you know.”

She turned her head slyly, tilting her hip at him as she sang, “ _I just want you for my own_...”

“Okay, that's it.”

He stepped toward her and she held up a finger, stopping him in his tracks as she turned completely, pulling her bra straps off her shoulders. “ _More than you could ever know_ ,” she stifled a giggle as he rushed for her, hopping on her toes when he embraced her, burying his face against her neck. “ _Make my wish come true_ -”

She smelled amazing, like vanilla or candy or something else sweet and he had the urge to lick her all over, then. He left a wet kiss on her skin and she let out a shaky gasp. Maybe he would explore her body, early wake up be damned. “Time for bed.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, a breathless laugh escaping her when he lugged her to the bed. “I haven't brushed-”

“Nope. Bed.”

* * *

“ _Beds_ , Mouth. Seven bedrooms, eight baths. We're living large, brother,” Lieutenant Cruz said as he led Logan and Veronica down the path to the luxury Aspen lodge. “The four of us, Bedrock and his wife and daughter so we need to watch our language, Stump and his girl, Mouse and her girlfriend and sister and boyfriend...I'm forgetting someone.”

Logan frowned, stepping around Veronica as she stopped to take a picture of a snow-covered tree. “Sanchez didn't come?”

“Ah, that's who I forgot!” Cruz- or, Beats- spun around, his nose crinkling playfully. “You know Brain had to come.”

“Why's he called Brain?” Veronica called, lowering her camera and dashing up the steps after them. 

“Because he's an idiot.” Logan and Beats said in unison. 

Beats laughed, setting down Veronica's suitcase in the foyer. “I gotta go find my girl. Y'all better pick a room before everyone else gets here. Mouth,” he pointed at Logan, backing toward the entrance. “You're helping me with the grill later.”

Her eyebrows rose in slight amusement before facing Logan. “So...” she said slowly, pulling off her beanie. “ _Mouth_?”

He paused and gave her a tight-lipped smile. Of course Veronica Mars wasn't going to let something like that slide. “Because I talk back,” he nodded to the stairs before picking up Veronica's case. 

“Do you like being called Mouth? Is it a fun nickname, like Giggles?”

“Fuck no, that's why they do it,” he muttered, waiting for Veronica to pass him on the stairs before following. “You do something stupid, they won't let you forget it. My proficiency in disciplinary actions got me that name. So even when I'm nice and respectful, it's Mouth. Mouth, Mouth, Mouth.”

She laughed, looking over her shoulder at him. “It suits you.”

“Ha, ha.”

When they reached the second floor, they separated, peeking into the bedrooms and looking for the best one. Beats of course claimed the biggest one for himself and his wife, so they opted for the next best, the one with a balcony and a beautiful view. Everything was wood and rustic and he thought Veronica liked it a bit more than he did, considering how she nearly threw herself on the king-size bed. 

He was momentarily jolted by a sudden thought of Carrie, remembering her doing the same thing at a hotel in Vegas the time he accompanied her to some music awards. The image was so clear- her thigh-high boots in the air, her skirt riding up her thighs, her bracelets knocking together musically as she held out her hands to him with that pouty smirk he loved so much. 

Logan blinked as Veronica's beanie hit his face and he looked at her, shaking his head. “What?”

Veronica sat up, shrugging out of her coat. “You were just standing there, lost in thought. Ten seconds away from your own Wes Anderson movie.”

He smiled slowly, feeling the corners of his mouth tug up as if on puppet strings. She stared back, crossing her eyes at him and his smile grew genuine. It was amazing that some random gesture could make him so happy. “Just thinking about you,” he murmured, holding out his hand to her. “Come on, I gotta introduce you to Beats' lady.”

Veronica took his hand, letting him lift her out of the bed. “Why's he called Beats?”

“Why don't you ask him?”

She chuckled as he led her to the door. “I'm not falling for that- you just said they call you Mouth because you hate it.”

“Nah, his is a cute nickname. Like Giggles.”

“Whatever, _Mouth_.”

* * *

“Mouth!” Sabrina Cruz nearly squealed as Logan and Veronica entered the kitchen, rushing over to hug him.

A tall, twenty-six year old woman with an affection for rings and loyalty, she had been one of Logan's only pillars of vocal support during the whole Carrie arrest situation. He recalled hearing from Dick that “some angry lady” called in to CNN to defend him and he was pretty sure it was Sabrina, which was strangely touching. He had avoided her calls during the hurricane, refused any support or help beyond clearing his name, and he knew he owed Sabrina an apology, at the very least. 

“Hey, Sabby,” he said softly, returning her embrace as she kissed his cheek. “You look great.”

“I feel great, this is pilates, baby,” Sabrina gestured down her body. “Bobby loves it.”

Logan raised his eyebrows, letting out a laugh. “I'm sure Beats does. Sab-” he looked over his shoulder, holding out his hand to Veronica, who stood patiently with an almost anxious smile. “This is my girlfriend, Veronica.”

Sabrina pointed to Veronica before embracing her. “Mars. I saw a story on you in People magazine, you're a diamond.”

Veronica looked surprised by the sudden hug, hesitantly resting her hand on Sabrina's back. “That's me, diamond in the rough.”

“Thank you for everything,” Sabrina straightened up, giving Logan a look. “I like her. Keep this one.”

“I plan on it,” Logan said with a smile. He perked up at the sound of cars pulling up to the lodge, doors opening. “And there's the rest of the squad.”

Veronica stood like a deer in the headlights as Sabrina dashed out, yelling for Beats as she went. Logan watched Veronica for a moment, watched her running her fingers through her hair, adjusting her black sweater, rubbing her lips together. She was actually nervous. 

He gave her a quick hug, kissing her forehead. “They're going to love you,” he whispered.

She looked up at him, a confident smile in place. “Of course they are. I'm Veronica Mars.”

* * *

“Mars,” Logan said, voice muffled by the package of Twinkies between his teeth. She got on her knees, taking the cups of coffee from him before settling down on the floor once more. He sat next to her, trading the Twinkies for his coffee. “It was this or Starbucks, I made an executive decision.”

“Good boy,” she breathed in the steam rising, her eyes closing. “Didja get it how I like it?”

“One cream, five sugars.”

“ _Excellent_.”

He took a long drink of his coffee, the warm liquid down his throat almost orgasmic. “Tase anyone in my absence?”

“Mm,” Veronica nodded at a clearly agitated man at the terminal counter, whom Logan could hear telling the clerk how she was ruining his Christmas. “I was a minute away from introducing myself to that _chap_ right there...and then making him remember my name. And curse it.”

Logan gazed at her, pretty certain the world could see the hearts in his eyes. “That threat is strangely erotic coming from you.”

She took a pointed sip, her narrowed eyes on the man still barking at the poor clerk. “Yeah, _buddy_.”

* * *

Veronica finally agreed to sex on the second night after Logan assured her they could be quiet and no one would hear. Normally, Veronica didn't particularly care how loud they were but she seemed slightly anxious around his shipmates and their families earlier. It's almost touching, how nervous she appeared to be. She actually cared, at least a little bit, even if she pretended not to. They all appeared to love her, as he knew they would.

The sex was quiet but satisfying. Struggling to stay silent made it hotter, Veronica's nails and teeth nearly breaking skin as she curled her limbs around his neck and legs and buried her face into the pillow. Afterwards, they don't speak or move for a while, Logan still spooning her from behind, her fingers entwined with his as she brings his knuckles to her lips. He never felt compelled to fill the silence with Veronica and ten years apart hadn't really changed that. 

When Veronica fell asleep, her breathing steady and slow, and still in Logan's arms, it didn't feel like an intrusion. It felt like she belonged. She felt as much a part of him as his hands, his legs, his eyes. Even their breathing had fallen in sync and he could feel the electricity of skin to skin, her flesh and her body and her entire self a part of him. It felt _right_. He felt _whole_. 

Later, when she's turned on her stomach and away from him but not too far, his gaze drifted to her bare back. That smooth land his fingers had traveled on many occasions, rose and fell with her breathing, it was mesmerizing. Up slow, hold, then down slow. 

He wanted to lean over and kiss her skin, feel her life and her everything under his lips, but he didn't move, just continued to stare and take her in. He didn't want to touch Veronica and have her disappear. Her head turned on the pillow, her face now in front of him and covered partially by her hair and he resisted the urge to move her hair away. He left her as she was, deep in sleep, and he was unbelievably entranced.

It had been months but he still wasn't really over it. Ten years, and she was back. Every time she looked at him, smiled at him, touched him... _ten years_.

God, he _loved_ her.

* * *

He thought about having kids with Carrie once, a month into round #163, when she had been clean for nearly two months and they were in a really good place. She had been the healthiest he had seen her and they were nearing their thirties and he had really started to _think_. He imagined them getting married four months in, before she really started to show, and they'd do it at the courthouse or something. They'd have a girl first, then a boy, both dark-haired, serious, smart-mouthed but good-intentioned children and they'd be those cool parents everyone judged but silently envied, with their kids running around in cartoon t-shirts paired with combat boots while they smiled proudly in their sunglasses and perfect smiles. He started to really entertain the idea and came up with “and we'll have a lot of fun trying” jokes while trying to gather the nerve to bring up the idea to Carrie, maybe while she was writing another song, her guitar on her lap.

Three days later, he pulled a coked out Carrie from her pool before her head went under and during the subsequent screaming match said her songs were shit after she kicked him and called him a motherfucker and he left her again- for good this time, he swore- and he kind of forgot about kids with Carrie after that.

Then there was a girl whom he dated for three months named Francesca- Frankie- a blunt web designer from New York who had transferred to San Diego on business and whom Dick had spilled beer on her dress and her beautiful braids at some bar. She had a nose ring and a beautiful mouth and big brown eyes and long fingers and constantly bit her lip when he made her smile, like she was trying her best to not be so taken by him. She was perfect and encouraging and not at all intimidated by his past. He knew they were rushing things but they got on really well and there was a strong, natural connection there. They laughed a lot and the sex was great and if he wanted creative, free-spirited kids and an amazing, healthy marriage with anyone, it was Frankie Martin. 

As soon as he started to imagine a life with Frankie and her artwork and their future tall, curly-haired children and trips to Brooklyn on holidays, Carrie called, fresh from her latest stint in rehab. When he hesitated at Frankie's demand of who exactly was he in love with here, she packed up their imaginary, curly-haired children with their big eyes and handed him those imaginary divorce papers as she kicked him out of their- her- apartment. She refused his phone calls and he actually mourned this one as he flushed Carrie's drugs for the fortieth time as she shoved at him, he mourned the loss of the life he had so desperately wanted and the woman he could've deeply loved and the fact that it was his own bullshit which fucked him up. Again.

He stopped daydreaming about a family and a life with anyone after that.

He didn't think about having a family again until this year. Several days ago. He had watched Veronica play in the snow with Bedrock's daughter, helping the six year old build a snowman. She didn't baby the child, just spoke with her like she were a tiny adult, but still gingerly wiped away the snow from the girl's bangs and cheeks before giving her a big smile. It stirred something in him, watching Veronica laugh when Natalia told her something as they added arms to their snowman.

She lifted her head, perhaps feeling his eyes on her. They always had that connection, knowing when the other was looking. Funny enough, it had grown stronger with absence. She looked to the patio where he stood, sipping on his hot chocolate and a splash of Bailey's, thanks to Mouse's girlfriend. Veronica gave him a closed-mouthed, yet gentle smile, lifting her gloved hand to wave. He raised his mug in response, grinning when Natalia started to wave back frantically, thinking the greeting was for her. 

For that brief moment, watching Veronica in that spread of snow and trees right out of a postcard, he imagined their children, a blond boy and dark-haired girl. Both were mouthy but very smart and like he imagined with Frankie, they would _eww_ when their parents kissed for a bit too long. They would love the beach and enjoy musicals and photography and they would take trips to the art museum. They would have Veronica's sense of humor and his quick wit, and they would both hopefully look like her. He didn't bring it up to Veronica, though, he'd learned his lesson, even as his hands traveled along her stomach when he embraced her from behind later in their bedroom.

She of course noticed the gesture and stared down at his hands before entwining her fingers with his. “Where's your head at, friend?”

Logan shook his head before kissing her neck. “Daydreaming.”

“How's that working out for you?”

“Idealistic. Quixotic. Silly.”

Veronica finally unwrapped herself from his hold and turned, hopping on her toes to leave a quick kiss on his lips. “Don't sell yourself short,” she said letting her words hang there between them for a moment. Before he could ask her what she meant by that, she's off, her hand running over his stomach as she walked past him to the bathroom. 

In the dark later that night, he could hear her shuddering gasps as her hold gave on his wrist and she turned her head, her lips brushing against his chin as she caught her breath. “I had a false alarm a week ago,” she whispered suddenly, her words a hiss on his skin.

He didn't respond, starting to work his fingers again absently and a low noise came from her throat as her thighs locked on his hand.

“I stopped taking my pill when you were away and just haven't refilled. I was late enough I had to take a test,” she continued and he finally met her gaze. “I don't want a baby right now...”

“What did the test say?” he murmured as her hand moved from its tight grip on his shirt to under the covers. His eyes closed for just a moment as her hand slipped into his underwear. “Veronica.”

“I wasn't,” she whispered like her hand wasn't doing what it was doing, her eyes locked on his. “But I thought I was, maybe. I don't want it right now, I'm- we're too busy.”

Logan's mouth opened as she tightened her hold and he struggled not to make a sound. “What about the future?”

“The future is too far away.”

“Okay.” It wasn't his ideal answer, but one he'd have to accept. “We don't-”

Her other hand wound around his neck, bringing his face down to hers. “Stop talking.”

When they're both finished and laying on their backs, Logan's fingers trailing her stomach and her fingers running through his short hair, she spoke again.

“Right before I looked at the test, I decided if it were positive, I would keep it,” he caught her shrug when he looked at her. She wasn't looking at him, staring at the ceiling even as her fingers combed through the top of his hair, growing longer in the past few months. Her tone was business-like, as if she were discussing a case. Maybe it was the only way she could approach the theoretical subject. “Maybe the future isn't so far away.”

Logan didn't know how to respond to that, to any of that, so he just nodded. “Okay.”

“But I don't want kids right now.”

“Okay.”

Veronica shook her head, glancing at him with a pointed look, as if he had been arguing with her and she just _had_ to convince him otherwise. “But they might not be so bad. With you. With us.”

He finally leaned over, cupping her cheek in his hand. “Noted,” he whispered before kissing her. 

Logan had felt silly for years, for daydreaming about things he knew were probably never going to become true for him. Now, knowing Veronica was having some of those same dreams, in some capacity anyway, made him feel not so ashamed. He wasn't alone anymore.

* * *

Sabrina cornered Logan in the kitchen on night four as he was grabbing more beers out of the fridge. The squad was rowdy on the patio, deeply immersed in their couples game of Cards Against Humanity.

Of _course_ , Veronica and Logan were winning. 

“You look happy.”

Logan straightened up, trying to balance the bottles and Sabrina rushed over to help him. “Yeah? We're kicking your ass, I'm totally thrilled.”

“Haha, smartie, that's not what I meant and you know it,” she muttered, plucking bottles from his arms. “I'm serious. You look really happy. I can see it in your eyes,” she smiled at him. “It makes me happy. Also Bobby, he's happy too.”

He nodded slowly, growing slightly uneasy by the way Sabrina was staring at him, like she was trying to see into his soul or something. “Okay.”

She took two more bottles from him, holding them against her sweater. She kind of gave a shrug of her lower lip, her head tilting in some weak attempt at being casual. “You don't have any bruises, no cuts, don't look like you're not eating-”

And there it was. It was too much to hope Sabrina had forgotten about their run-in at Whole Foods two years earlier, a random happenstance. She didn't even live in Neptune, she had just driven up with a few friends while Beats was deployed and ran into him in the bread aisle. He could remember her eyes locked on the bruises on his knuckles (punching Sean), the cut on his lower lip (Carrie's ring getting him when she yanked her arm away as he tried to pull her into the house), the bags under his eyes. He remembered her soft, but cold “how's Carrie?” when he didn't talk much beyond the polite greetings. He remembered being unable to look at her properly, the shame finally getting the better of him. He remembered being angry afterwards, not at her but at himself.

It was stupid. _He_ was stupid. 

“Sabrina. Stop,” was all he could say without really getting into it right there, mere feet away from their friends. “Carrie was really sick-”

“I _loved_ Carrie,” Sabrina interjected swiftly, and he could see how quick she was, she had been holding it in. “I loved her because you loved her but you didn't need that in your life. She needed help and there was only so much you could've done for her, you know that, right? You didn't deserve what happened.” Her eyes widened and he didn't even want to imagine what sort of look was on his face, then. “Logan, I am so sorry. I know it's not my place but we were all so worried about you. Bobby and Bedrock and Stump and the rest would never say it but we were. We never, ever thought you would've hurt her-”

“It's cool,” Logan interrupted, giving her a warm smile. He meant it, he knew what she was trying to say. Years of adjusting his attitude and reevaluating his life and relationships had made him realize this anger from Sabrina- from Veronica, especially- wasn't because they were attacking him. They were concerned. It was out of love and that was a foreign, if nice, feeling. “Really, Sabrina. I know.”

She sighed, following him to the door. “I didn't mean-”

He shook his head. “No. You're right.”

“About what?”

“I am happy,” As the words came out of his mouth, he knew it were true. Never spoken out loud but as soon as he did, he knew there wasn't a single lie there. He felt free. “I'm happier than ever.”

* * *

Logan had a slight break during a morning hike with Veronica. They had started talking. About nothing, about everything. Life, breakfast, them, Keith, Veronica's hair, his hair. everything. It was silly and easy and they walked hand in hand or arm in arm or bodies bumping into each other as they traveled down the snow-covered path. Veronica's cheeks were rosy as she laughed at his replies and she beamed when he laughed at her quips and it was all nice.

Of course, he had to kind of ruin their good vibe.

It had started innocently enough. It was a single off-hand comment which set Veronica off. A simple “I'm your dirty little secret.” He hadn't even meant to say it out loud, it had just slipped out. 

She stopped in her tracks, her smile frozen. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“What do you mean?” Logan turned, shrugging. His back was starting to tense up, he could feel the tension in Veronica's tone. “It doesn't mean anything. We're just talking.”

Veronica let out a breathless laugh, shaking her head. “It means something, you said it. What are you even talking about?”

He sighed loudly as she walked to him. “Nothing. I just see the way everyone...” he trailed off, shrugging once more. “It doesn't matter.”

“Yes. It does.”

“I know,” he said haltingly before pausing and counting silently. His superior always told him when his emotions rose, to stop and count. The words came out better that way. “My squad loves you, they tell me, like, every five minutes. I know what _your_ squad thinks of me, Veronica. That's all I meant.”

She shook her head again, as if not understanding him. “What- who cares. They don't know you like I do.”

“I care,” he said with a strained laugh. “I care because everyone-”

“ _Fuck_ everyone,” Veronica interrupted loudly, silencing him. 

Her anger was sudden and indignant, as if she were offended he would ever say such a thing. It was a new expression from her, she had been kind of mellow and just straightforward since they got back together. This was the first time he had seen her look just...angry. _Offended._

She blinked rapidly and she inhaled, regaining her composure. “Look. If _everyone_ has a problem, they can talk to me. The only opinion you need to worry about is mine. I know who you are, Logan.”

And with that, she left him, continuing to walk down the path back to the lodge. It was hard to stomp away in snow but she was pulling it off pretty well. He stood there, letting her words register. Letting them coat him in its warmth after the ice water of her anger. Reassurance, Veronica style. Love, Veronica style.

Logan caught up to her, taking her hand in his. “I'm-”

Veronica let out a dry laugh, squeezing his hand threateningly. “If you say _I'm sorry_ , I'm going to pinch you. Don't you dare.”

He smiled slowly, his head lowering. “I love you.”

“You better.”

* * *

By midnight, Veronica and Logan were able to claim a pair of seats which were abandoned by the previous restless occupants. Suitcases at their feet, they sat leaning against each other, both checking their phones. Silent comfort. It was nice.

“It was nice to see your shipmates,” she murmured, and he could see her sending a sneaky selfie she took of the two of them- taken while he was completely unaware, natch- to Lianne's phone for Hunter. “They were really cool.”

“Yeah, they're good guys. They loved you,” he paused, glancing down at her with a grin. “Sabrina _really_ loved you- she was bummed you didn't hit the spa with her.”

Veronica shrugged, putting her phone away. “Maybe next time,” she frowned. “The skiing kicked my ass, maybe I should have done the spa thing.”

“Next time.”

She sighed wistfully. “Yeah...”

Logan leaned down as she rested her head against his shoulder. “I suppose I can't convince you to join the floor high club with me in the restroom?”

She smiled slowly, not opening her eyes. “Ask me in an hour.”

* * *

The music was startling. The vocals were sweet and high and flirty and Logan could hear the lyrics faintly in his fog about tying strings and being better off and he knew the song well. It was one of Bonnie DeVille's “lost” songs which were released in some compilation album by her label after her death, a bunch of b-sides and demos Carrie wrote and wasn't really crazy about. This one actually had a video, archival footage of Carrie, one of the shots a repeated loop of her smiling at the camera before running away. Running to the camera, her arms open, and running away. Clean-faced, no make up, no wigs, not Bonnie, just Carrie.

He knew that footage well. He shot it. 

They used it without his permission, it was fair use, the lawyers claimed, because Carrie had uploaded it to her instagram, along with video of Logan, which was posted on TMZ and something called tumblr and the like. The anger from all of that, he could get over and was over it, it was a mere annoyance now because he knew how much people sucked. But _hearing her_...

“Yo! Turn that shit off!”

Logan blinked at Stump's bark and then sighed in relief as the music from the other cabin was turned down. Stump faced Logan again, raising his eyebrows as he tossed the football. “Thanks,” Logan said simply, catching the ball.

Other than Beats, he was probably closest to Stump. A kid from the Chicago projects with a record- mostly shoplifting- with a chip on his shoulder who got out through the Navy. Their first interaction had actually been a quick argument, right when they had just met. They hadn't liked each other at first glance and now they played football together, so he guessed that's how things worked out sometimes. 

“So check it, your girl- Vanessa?”

“Veronica.”

“ _Veronica_ , I knew that- she heard me telling Karen about how my ma was trying to find my brother, y'know? The one that she kicked out? Since it was Christmas, right? And Veronica was like,” Stump raised his voice into a high pitch. “ _I can help you. Give me your mother's information_ , like the Terminator and shit.”

Logan smiled, shaking his head. “She's a detective, man. That's what she does. She's good.”

“Good, because I gave her my mom's number. Talked to her this morning, she already found out he's in Philly. My mom is so happy, bro. I gotta spot dinner for you guys before we go.”

A warmth of pride flowed through Logan, then. His girl, always trying to help people, even the ones she barely knew. And, of course, being unable to resist a case. Ever. That was Veronica, he loved it. “Thanks.”

Stump licked his lips, holding his hands up. “And you're gonna need the consolation prize because in one hour, I am going to kill you in skating.”

Logan laughed, looking at Stump as the man caught the football he just threw at him. “Dude, nothing about that sounds manly.”

“Yo, don't knock skating, man,” Stump threw the football back, brushing snow from his jeans. “Like Jen said, you gotta use your legs and balance, or some shit. It's all about grace and agility.”

“So what you're saying is, I'm going to win because you're clumsy as shit,” Logan grinned as Stump flipped him off. 

“Throw me the football!”

Both men turned to Natalia, who was attempting to run as fast as her little legs could carry her, her pink scarf dragging in the snow. Logan glanced at Stump, setting down the football on the snow and watched as Stump bent over, eye to eye with the little girl. 

Stump fixed her scarf carefully. “How about you get your moms and we go skating?”

Logan smirked as Natalia shrieked her approval and ran off, screaming for her mother. He pulled the sleeves of his sweater over his hands as Stump approached, slapping his arm playfully as they started to walk back up to the lodge. “You are intent on skating, brother.”

“I am _hyped_ , brother.”

* * *

Logan walked into the bedroom, eyeing Veronica seated on the bed cross-legged, staring at her laptop. He could hear a child's voice, high-pitched in its excitement.

Hunter.

He had gotten used to Veronica's weekly meetings with her little brother, every Wednesday at six without fail. Sometimes he joined in at Veronica or Hunter's request, but mostly he let them have their time. He was glad she had embraced her new role and had somewhat let go of her animosity towards her mother, she looked happier than she had when he was away even if sometimes she got a look in her eyes, a ghost of sorrow clouding her gaze before she noticed his attention and blinked, a smile already in place. 

He met Hunter once and it had gone as well as it could have. Hunter was a good kid in a bad situation. With Veronica around, he was sure to beat the odds, now. Hunter wouldn't be like him. 

Veronica reached for Logan as he walked by, wiggling her fingers. “Hunter, look who's here.”

Logan took her hands and let her pull him on the bed. He ducked in view of the camera, reclining on Veronica's lap. He smiled, giving Hunter a salute and a wink. “Hey!”

Hunter eagerly returned the salute before waving at him. “Hi, Logan! Mommy said we can visit next year, are we going to go to Magic Mountain like you said? Do you still have your dog tags?”

“If I'm still here and your mom's okay with it, definitely. And,” Logan pulled his chain from under his sweater, holding up the pieces of metal. “Check it,” he paused as he felt Veronica rub his back. It was soothing, nothing sexual behind it. It was a nice feeling, like she really wanted him there. Like he deserved to be there. 

He _did_ deserve it.

Hunter scratched at his head, a piece of his blonde hair sticking up at the gesture. “Hey, Logan, you wanna hear the song I just made up?”

Logan grinned as Veronica chuckled behind him. “Go for it, buddy.”

* * *

He's told her he loved her many, many times. Many times after she's returned to him. He knows she doesn't take it particularly seriously. I love you like a friend. I love you like someone who just let me have sex with her. I love you like someone I've known since we were twelve. I love you like someone who saved my fucking life.

When he said it on the steps of the lodge, as they sat staring at the stars after midnight, it's different. He doesn't allow her to explain away the intention, as he whispered it against her temple, his eyes closing as he said it. When she looked up at him, he said it again, his cloud of breath ghosting over her lips and she looked visibly flustered. 

Her head lowered, a crooked smile on her lips. “Logan...”

He gently lifted her head with his thumb, his other hand sliding on her thigh. Not sexual, just intimate. “I do. I love you. Never stopped.”

She was silent for a moment, silent when his lips pressed against hers in a tender kiss, as he put everything he had into it. When he pulled away, her eyes were still closed, and her “I love you too” was faint as her lips brushed over his. 

When he kissed her again, he could hear her repeat it, soft and almost far away. 

“I love you too.”

* * *

“You'll never guess who I saw checking in while you were saying goodbye to your friends.”

Logan glanced at Veronica as she shut the shuttle van door before returning his gaze to his phone. “Who?”

Veronica inhaled deeply and he knew that posture, that look in her eyes. That 'I'm about to solve a mystery' glint. He both loved and dreaded that glint. “One Weevil Navarro, his wife, daughter, about nine cousins and associates, six friends, four other kids, five golden rings and a partridge in a pear tree.”

His brow furrowed as he focused his attention on his phone. “Wow. What are the odds?”

“Weevil said a week ago, someone,” her lips pulled back from her teeth as she shrugged. “I haven't the _slightest_ idea whom, left in their mailbox passes to...our huge lodge! All expenses paid for a week, including airfare,” she gave Logan a pointed look. “There was a note, but it just said merry Christmas. Weevil showed it to me, said God was looking out.”

Logan lowered his phone, his eyes lighting up. “It's a Christmas miracle!”

She faced him fully, her deadpan gaze on him. “Looked like your handwriting.”

Logan shrugged. “Funny that.”

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes, and he tried not to smile at the sight of the slight smirk on Veronica's lips. If she wasn't going to carry on, neither was he. 

As the shuttle cab pulled into the airport, Logan slapped Veronica's knee, giving it a firm squeeze. “Hey, so I have a great idea,” she turned to him and he grinned. “Let's go to New York!”

She shook her head. “What, next year?”

“No, now,” his smile grew at the sight of her bemused expression. “Surprise!”

Veronica laughed, shaking her head once more. “Yeah, no, we have a Christmas dinner to get to.”

“That's two days away- come on, let's do it. Let's live a little.”

She continued to sit in the van as Logan hopped out, helping the driver with their bags. Finally, she poked her head out, her eyes narrowed in confusion. “Are you drunk?”

* * *

Logan rested his head in his hands as Veronica continued to basically rant, his fingers curling into his hair. The day had started completely wrong. They had overslept and then had trouble catching a cab and now the cab driver was nervously watching in the mirror as they argued in the backseat. What was a great day in New York had turned into a complete nightmare, mostly because Veronica was freaking over missing Christmas with her father.

It was such a dumb idea, in hindsight. Of course Veronica wanted to be home- it was her first Christmas back in Neptune, not as a visitor. It was her first Christmas with her father after his accident, after they got back together. Of course, she wanted to be home. He felt terrible.

“Veronica,” he mumbled after Veronica had stopped snapping at him. She sat in the cab, far away from him, arms and legs crossed as she glared out the window. “Babe. Honey. Sweetheart. Baby.”

“Don't even.”

Logan shifted over to Veronica's side, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “We had a good time, right? We'll make it.”

She elbowed him away, shaking her head. “I can't believe you actually tried to say this was my fault for sleeping late, _you_ said you were going to set the alarm-”

“I was stressed and upset, I am sorry,” he murmured against her cheek. “I am really sorry. We're going to get home, Veronica,” he caught her expression starting to relax as his hand slid over her stomach. “We're going to get home and we're going to eat your dad's food and watch him give me dirty looks because I'm banging his only daughter,” he grinned as she started to smile. “And then I'll pass out on the couch because he'll shoot me if I try to hold your hand in front of him-”

Veronica laughed, elbowing him again. “Shut up, he'll use the silencer.”

“Totally.”

She touched his chin, pulling him for a quick kiss. “I'm sorry too,” she whispered.

Logan nodded, kissing her again. The embrace intensified slightly until his eyes opened, catching the driver's eyeroll in the mirror. He smirked, pulling back and resting his forehead on Veronica's. “We're going home, baby.”

* * *

Logan reclined by Veronica on the carpet, resting his head on his palm. He stared at her for a couple of seconds as she lay there, her hair loose and wild, wrapped in the thick cotton hotel robe, nursing the final glass of champagne. He was pretty sure she was tipsy. “You’re beautiful.”

She smirked. “You’re pretty too.”

He grinned as she attempted to drink the last of her glass without lifting her head. Finally, he took the glass from her and downed it, his smile growing at her groan. “I moisturize,” his smile faded as he gazed at her, laying there in their comfortable silence. “Do you have any regrets?”

“Yeah. Do you?”

“Loads.”

“What about us?”

“What _about_ us?”

“Do you have any. Regrets.”

“Not anymore.”

Veronica’s eyes were bright, almost illuminated by the low lights in the hotel room. Her fingers entwined with Logan’s as she turned her gaze to his. “Me neither.” 

* * * 

“Veronica.”

Logan kissed Veronica's forehead, trying to rouse her. Travelers walked past them to line up at the gate, impatient and ready to leave to California. It was about damn time.

He straightened up the best he could without violently jerking Veronica out of her sleep, his hand squeezing her knee as he pressed his lips against her cheek. “Baby, it's time to go.”

Veronica inhaled deeply through her nose, her eyes opening. “What...” she sat up, stifling a yawn as she blinked back the sleep in her eyes. “Are you serious? We're going?”

“Yeah,” he stood, gathering their suitcases. “We're finally going home.”

She jumped to her feet, stretching. “Oh my God, this actually is a Christmas miracle. I need my own bed ASAP.”

Logan smiled slowly, watching as Veronica hopped on her toes, trying to wake up. She turned her head, up, down, side to side, lifted her arms, rotated her shoulders, a whole big ordeal for one tiny person. It was almost cartoonish, he loved watching it. 

He loved her. 

She froze when she noticed him staring at her, lowering her arms. “What?”

“Just thinking about you,” he said, nodding to the gate. “Let's go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [disdainfullady](http://archiveofourown.org/users/disdainfullady/pseuds/disdainfullady) for betaing this sucker and my military wife expert [crystalkei](http://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalkei/profile) for guidance and encouragement. These two are invaluable, thank you.


End file.
